Gulp.
Do you have a two year old?
This is a tough one. But check out this 411:
- Yelling can be just as harmful as physical abuse. {ACT against violence, 2010}
- Children whose parents consistently raise their voices or combine yelling with insults, criticism, ridicule or humiliation may suffer from depression, dips in self-esteem or demonstrate more aggression themselves. {New York Times, November 2004}
- Children need to feel loved, secured & safe {Australian Parenting & Child Health Network, March 2009}
I have to say, the Australian Parenting & Child Health Network? Had a good list.
Children need:
- to feel loved
- to feel secure
- to feel safe
- to feel that they are worthwhile
- to feel caring limits
- to feel that they can succeed at some things
- to feel that they can contribute - be helpful
- opportunities to explore and try new things.
So, I did it. I went a day without yelling. Difficult with a two year old. But doable. Sometimes its just that the only way he will listen is to yelling. {And if you are a mom that is right now saying, "but my little miss (or mister) always listens, withhout any yelling"? Kudos to you. And please forward me the name of your child psychologist/brain washer.}
And you want to know what happened? I had heard about this before. Quite the phenomenon.
He listened.
Yikes. Maybe I should try this again?
4 comments:
I give you props!! I can't even go a day without yelling at my dog! I might be in for a rude awakening when it comes time to be a parent! This is a great little series, can't wait to see the rest! :)
following your blog from the tag along. Such a great series you are doing!
following your blog from the tag along. Such a great series you are doing!
Wow, I am so glad to hear someone else say that it seems that her child only listens when the yelling starts. My son is that way. I can ask him to do something nicely a thousand times but he doesn't actually get up to move until I yell. Though as I am trying really hard to yell less, I find he responds well to a timed challenge (ex: last time you got your shoes on in 3 minutes, let's see if you can beat that this time or since our timer will also run up like a stop-watch, I can have him do something and see how long it takes him rather than making him stress about beating the clock every time)
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