Challenge Wednesday #17

As usual, it's Wednesday {seems to happen every week doesn't it?}, and here is Tracey!  


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Hello, again.  You might remember me as the girl who barges in to Jen's blog every other Wednesday.  I am Tracey, from Control the Chaos.  Jenny is my IRL and bloggy friend, and we take turns challenging each other to be better at what we do.  And maybe learn a few things along the way.


Last week, Jen left this for me:


"Alrighty...so now it's Tracey's turn again.  Hmm...I am going to go back in time a bit to the 31 days of October, when I did some writing about being a better mama.  Tracey is an awesome mama already, but I am going to challenge you, friend, to "leave each of your children a surprise sweet note this week."  "


This was a fitting challenge for me.  Maybe some of you can identify with the way minutes sometimes slip away from you.  I have three kids:  two Bigs are in school, and the little goes to a babysitter a few hours a week and spends the rest of the time with me.


The know I love them, because I squeeze them and kiss them and tell them every day.


But, between part time work and blogging and cooking and cleaning and homework checks and schedule keeper...well, maybe you see what I mean about the minutes slipping away.  Even with our intentional simple lives.  


Seriously, we allow one extracurricular per week, we cook nearly all of our meals, and we spend every Friday night doing something together as a family (and most Saturdays as well).  We eat dinner at the table together every evening, we own one car, and we pursue uncomplicated hobbies as a family.


And still, the minutes slip away.  How Do Other People Do It?


All that rambling is to say this:  No matter how many times you tell your kids you love them, they will always always always appreciate feeling special.


And so, one night after the kids were in bed, I set to work.  I made these cute hands signs for the Bigs and put them in their lunch boxes.  The Little doesn't yet read, so I put on her favorite music and we danced our crazies out.

Source: tiffkeetch.blogspot.com via Cassidy on Pinterest

The reaction?  pure joy.

Big #1 lovingly brought it home and put it in his special things place in his room.  


 Big #2 asked me to do it every day.


The Little said "I love you so much."

*SIGH*...I'm smitten.


Another challenge in the books.  

And now, Jen, for next week, here's an easy one for you: book report time! What are you reading right now, how do you like it, and do you have any reading recommendations for us?


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Geesh. Tracey can read my mind.  I haven't been reading a ton lately...so this inspires me to crack a book open.  I've got many books left to read!

Love :: Day 31 [31 days to being a better mama]

30.  Today's focus: love. 

Source: etsy.com via Carrie on Pinterest

Source: 1.bp.blogspot.com via Tatjana on Pinterest

Source: None via Lyndsey on Pinterest

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And on that note, I hope that you have gotten at least one or two good nuggets from these last 31 days.  I know I have.  And I love you for being my buddies and sticking thru to the end!

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Oh, and to all of those of you celebrating Halloween?  Trick or treat!?  {wink}

Source: flickr.com via Julie on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Electronic boycott:: Day 30 [31 days to being a better mama]

29.  Turn off your phone, computer or TV today when your child is with you. 


Uffda.

I'm glad this one was at the end of the month.  Gave me some time to work up to it.

It was just this past Sunday that I was talking about how I struggle with this {mostly the computer}.  So this will be a challenge.  But a good one.

And on that note.  This here machine I am typing on is that blasted computer.  So...ba-bye for now!



If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

New word :: Day 29 [31 days to being a better mama]

28.  Teach your child a new word. 

Source: google.com via Lara on Pinterest

Well, this should be an easy one {in theory}...seeing as how J#3 is learning new words every day.

I think I will work on the word "love".  Because it would be dreamy if he could say "I love you" back to us.  Because I know he does, but to hear it? That would be a dream.

Source: be-the-change.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Health matters :: Day 28 [31 days to being a better mama]

27.  Do one thing that is good for your health:  walk 10 minutes, eat a piece of fruit, or get a good night's sleep. 


Hmm....this one shouldn't be too hard. I like me some fruit.  And I am still working through the Couch to 5K program, so I'll make this a day I run.  Done.

But why is this so important?  I talked about it here.  But for me the number one reason is that I want my children to remember me as an active and fit mommy.  Who is ready for any activity they toss my way.   Also, I think it would be great if the kids grew up in an active family.  And I am the one who mostly needs to get my bum of the couch to make that happen.

Source: forahealthyandhappylife.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Of course it also important to be active so that I stay healthy and am around to constantly nag encourage them.  So that I can pull out those bath photos when they have their first dates.  Oh, and to make sure that when it is time for J#4's first date, that J#1 keeps the shotgun {that we don't own} in the closet.  {wink, wink}


So...what are you going to do for your health today?  Tell me...pretty please???


If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Encouragement:: Day 27 [31 days to being a better mama]

27.  Make it a point to encourage your child today.


You bet.  I am all over this one.  I love encouraging my kids.

Especially J#4.  There are so many new things she is trying right now.  Pulling herself up, learning how to get herself back on the floor, eating new foods.

And J#3 as he tries to build train tracks and car cities.  He needs encouragement to keep on keeping on.

This one is a cake walk.  And I bet it is for you too?

How do you encourage your kids?  What things do they need the most encouragement for?  Maybe I can get a little peak into my future.

And a little nugget for ya...maybe this could be a sweet note for your little one today?

Source: google.com via Jenny on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Opinion:: Day 26 [31 days to being a better mama]

25.  Ask your child's opinion sometime today.


I am going to take this as "offer your son choices and let him pick his favorite", after all, that would be his opinion, right?  That, I'll do.

In a few years, this is going to be very important.  Asking my kids their opinions will, number one, help them develop opinions.  Will help them feel important and that we care about what they have to say.

So in a few years, I will ask for their opinion. I will do that.  You know, when I go through these 30 days again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that.  {wink, wink}

Because this is an on-going job, this job of motherhood, and we can always use these gentle reminders.

And because I don't have much to say about this; here is a little something I found on pinterest when I did a search on "opinion".  Seems pretty inspiring to me, so I just wanted to share it with you all.

Source: reddit.com via Jerry on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

No interruption :: Day 25 [31 days to being a better mama]

24.  Do not interrupt your child when he is talking.


Two days in a row peeps.

This just doesn't apply to us much.  I never interrupt J#3.  Because if there are words coming out of his mouth? I am hanging on EVERY. LAST.  WORD.

Because there aren't many... and I am okay with that.

He is about two years + seven months old.  I was pretty sure at this point he would have more to say.  I am going to contribute part of the fact to living in the Netherlands for the past year.  I would speak my own language too, if people talked to me in some gobboly gook {to J#3} language when we are in stores and such.

But, I am a bit impatient.  I want him to talk.  He is a smart kid, and I want to know what fun stuff is running thru that head of his.

BUT, if you do have kiddos that are talking a mile a minute, here are some tips from this article by Kevin Eickenberry to curb the interrupting (these are the top 3, make sure to click over for the rest):

1. "Don't talk." Just plain don't interrupt.
2. "Close your mouth." Sometimes just by opening it you are signaling to someone that you want to interrupt them.
3. "Open your mind." Essentially, if you are already thinking of your argument (a.k.a. your but or interruption), you aren't actually listening to the person.  

"Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that

 the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet. "  --Lewis Mumford

Evidently, Lewis never had kids.   (FYI, after a quick search online, I can't find anything about his personal life, just his writing.  So I guess we'll never know.)

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Sarcasm? Nooo. :: Day 24 [31 days to being a better mama]

23.  Replace sarcasm with kindness. 


I have to say, we don't use much {if any} sarcasm with our kids.  Like I have said a few times throughout this 31 days, it probably has something to do with the kids being so young.  Some of this stuff just doesn't affect us.

BUT, I know there are some of you that have older kids.  Or no kids.

So, following are a few interesting nuggets regarding sarcasm.

According to this article from ScienceDaily.com, children can detect sarcasm as early as six years old, but won't necessarily understand the humour of it until about 10 years old.

Comedian Jeremy Greenburg {I've never heard of him, have you?} wrote an awesome article for MSN Lifestyle about sarcasm & parenting.  Please check it out.  It is an interesting, down to earth look at how sarcasm can affect your children.  My favorite quote?

"This is Parenting 101: don't get personal. When your child messes up,

 remember that there's a good chance it's because of your parenting."

And with that? I live you with these pinterest gems: 

Source: cukri.com via Shanna on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Janet on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Remember me :: Day 23 [31 days to being a better mama]

22.  How do you want your child to remember you?  Be that mom today.


Hi.  Hello there.  It's me Jen J#2.  I think I might have told you about this a few times before...

I want to be a Mom that my kids remember "being in the moment".  With them.  Playing, hugging, laughing.

And a secret for you?  I am NOT very good at this.  It is what I intend to do, but I often {read: every day} fail.

I find myself behind a computer screen {like right now.  ooops.} much to often.  Getting frustrated with the kids because they are pushing on the screen.  Really, Jen J#2?  Geesh.

I tell myself I need this time, because I need me time.  But peeps, I really need to limit it.  I have a few ideas in mind on how to do that going forward.  No, I'm not going to stop blogging.  But I am going to spend more time hanging with my kids.

So for now?  Today I am just going to keep the computer closed, and my arms open.  And my hands...here comes the tickle monster!

Source: babygoodbuys.com via Jackie on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Forgive :: Day 22 [31 days to being a better mama]

21.  Forgive yourself when you mess up. 


Eek.  I think I could write, and write, and write {and well, you get the idea} about this topic.

This job?  Being a mama? Its tough.  It has ups and downs. It has good days and bad days.  I fail. Every day.  Especially if we are going by the list of challenges I am working through in these 31 days.

Even if it doesn't have to do with being a mom, I mess up. I go over my calories for the day.  I come up with excuses not to exercise.  Rationalizing the reasons I keep delaying on certain items on my bucket list.

But the point is.  I need to forgive myself when I mess up.  If it is a mama thing, or a exercise thing...no matter what....

We have to remember to forgive ourselves.

Source: bethsownblog.blogspot.com via Jenny on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Patience :: Day 21 [31 days to being a better mama]

20.  Today's focus: patience.
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Sorry.  I just had to stop laughing before I could type.

This could be one of the more challenging items on the list.

Remember this day?  I keep the Serenity prayer next to my bed!

I didn't get a job description for this mama job I have, but I am pretty sure one of the requirements would have been patience.  So, I guess that means I better buck up, chill out and be patient.  Even if I do have a two year old.  

It's not like he is trying to try my patience, right?  {wink}

Source: vivalaaden.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

It's true.  Love is patient.  Loving our children requires patience.

And come to think of it, so much of parenthood requires patience.  Being patient for the days that they are more independent.  Being patient for the days that they will make us laugh when they tell a joke or make us proud with some school accomplishment.  Being patient {for me} for when they just plain have more words.

Its like they are tell us...

Source: etsy.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Today, I will.  And every day going forward, I will do my best.

Tell me... what kind of tricks or methods do you use to remind yourself to be patient?  Am I the only one that struggles with this one?




If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Independence :: Day 20 [31 days to being a better mama]

19.  Teach your child one thing he can do on his own today.


I think I'll stick with just doing this with J#3 for today.  If you don't mind?  Not sure exactly what I could teach J#4 to do at this point.  {wink}

One of the things we have been working on lately is getting J#3 to take off his own shoes when we get in the house.

He is perfectly capable of getting OUR shoes off and on.

Exhibit A

{november 2010.  geez, he still looks like a baby here!}

Exhibit B.

But his own?  Not so much.

So that will be my challenge for the day.  Perhaps I'll make a game out of it.

Maybe if I have some luck with that, we'll work on how to get them on too!  He has gotten pretty close a couple of times...

Do you have any suggestions on how to teach him to do it?  And get him to keep doing it?


If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Admiration :: Day 19 [31 days to being a better mama]

18.  Who is a mom you admire?  What quality of hers can you live out today? 


I am going to make this moms.  


Lets start with the most obvious.  My mom.

The qualities I admire?  She holds her children {and now her grandchildren} one of her top priorities, and is always available when we really need her.  She is our biggest fan.  Loves us unconditionally.  As we are adults now, she is a best friend.

Those seem like some of the most important qualities of a mother to me, and I'll be sure to act in that way today with my kids.  Hey...I might even try it every day.  {wink, wink}

And then there is...

Source: 24.media.tumblr.com via Karen on Pinterest

Peggy Bundy.

Ha.  Haha.  Hahaha.   Just kidding.

I guess I'll just stick with the one fabulous Mom for today.

But I am curious...who is the mom that you most admire???

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Laugh :: Day 18 [31 days to being a better mama]

17.  Laugh with your child today.


Have I ever told you that J#3 is a ham?  He hams it up.  Big time.  Not always for photos {although that is happening more often}. But for laughs?

One night he snuck out of his room after we put him to bed.  We found him at the top of the stairs, with socks on his hand.  Doing a yoga pose.  The downward dog {is that even the name of a yoga pose?}, I think.   People,  we don't practice any yoga around these parts.


So this should be an easy day.

#1, we have a comedian on our hands.

And #2?  The tickle monster make frequent visits to our home.

Speaking of the tickle monster.  Did you know there is a Tickle Monster kit?

Hmmm...{Grandma, are you reading?  Christmas list idea #2}

Oh, and in case you need something to get your funny bone ready?

Source: None via Jenny on Pinterest

So tell me...How are you going to laugh with your kids today? 


If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Parent the future :: Day 17 [31 days to being a better mama]

16.  Picture what you want your child to be like at age 25.  Mother with that in mind today. 


Wow.  25?

That will be in the years 2034 and 2036.  Let's just think about that for a second.

Yeesh.

Alright, now that I have wrapped my head around that...

What do I want J#3 & J#4 to be like when they are 25?
1.  Happy
2.  Confident
3.  Loving & caring
4.  Educated
5.  Independent
6.  Adventurous


How do children learn the most from their parents?  By imitation, of course.  So the best way that I think I can ensure that my children are happy, confident, loving and caring, educated, independent and adventurous when they are 25 is live that way myself.  Now.  Today.  Every day.

Source: etsy.com via Jenny on Pinterest

The other way that my parenting is going to help influence them to become all of those things?  To make them my top priority.  


So, thats all for now. I am off to help my kids develop into happy, confident, loving and caring, educated, independent and adventurous human beings.  Later Gators!  




If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Firm, not harsh :: Day 16 [31 days to being a better mama]

15.  Be firm when needed, but not harsh.


I am feeling a bit of deja vu.  This seems to be a lot like Day 14, when we were not to criticize for the day.  And sort of like way back at Day 3 when we weren't supposed to be yelling for the day.

But...

Source: lab.agencyaccess.com via Vincent on Pinterest

I will not yell.
I will not criticize.
I will not be harsh.

Say it with me now.

I will not yell.
I will not criticize.
I will not be harsh.


I will not yell.
I will not criticize.
I will not be harsh.

Repeat 10 times.

Then let me know in the comments how these challenges {since we are about half way thru} are going for YOU.




If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Gift of motherhood :: Day 15 [31 days to being a better mama]

15.  Remember that being a mother is a gift.


Easy peasy.  Well...most of the time.

Source: None via Erin on Pinterest

march 6 2009

Source: etsy.com via Erin on Pinterest

february 1 2011

Source: itworksforbobbi.com via Shannon on Pinterest

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Criticize not :: Day 14 [31 days to being a better mama]

13.  Do not criticize your child today.

Honestly, this is a difficult day for me.  With children my age {and lets be real, I'm really just talking about J#3 here}, there seems to be a fine line between discipline and criticism.  Or maybe there isn't.  


Honestly {again...trust me, I'm an honest person ;-)}, I am not sure what is the difference between them.  


So, of course, I went to the world wide intermaweb to see what I could find... and I found a gem, I think.  A few of the key points from "Guidelines for Correcting or Disciplining Children" by Angela Oswalt, MSW include: 

• "...a correction is a behavioral correction."  vs.  "a criticism is an attack on a child's being; on their worthiness."
• "It's useful for parents to point out that a particular action or a particular choice children have made have is bad, dangerous or harmful.  However, parents who inadvertently suggest to children that they are bad, dangerous or harmful may end up harming their children."   

Source: weheartit.com via Christine on Pinterest

“A torn jacket is soon mended; 

but hard words bruise the heart of a child.” 

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The main thing here is that if we are criticizing, and essentially attacking the child as a person, that is something they can't change, so they will feel bad.  While, correcting their behavior isn't damaging {and is essentially a good thing, because it needs to happen} because their behavior is something they can change. 

Source: moneysavingmom.com via Jenny on Pinterest

She went on to say that it is not a smart idea to compare our children. It doesn't matter who we are comparing them to, we just shouldn't do it.  If we do, it risks making them feel inferior, much like criticizing can.  


Hmph.  I think I have this figured out.  I'd like to think that I am pretty good about not criticizing, but now I know what to pay attention to. And I know...there isn't really a fine line. Discipline and Criticism?  Totally different.  


Hopefully this was helpful to you to.  


If you get a chance to check out the webpage I found, let me know...what struck you from her article? 



If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.

Prayer :: Day 13 [31 days to being a better mama]

12.  Pray for wisdom in mothering your child. 


Ha.  Hahahaha.  I laugh, just because this is something I do so often.  And it often comes in the form of the "Serenity Prayer". I even have the prayer right next to my bed.

I pray for patience, I pray for help to understand a two year olds mind.

I pray for their safety and the knowledge of how I can keep them safe.

I just downloaded this book to read:

Source: amazon.com via Lindsey on Pinterest

Being a recent graduate of Reading the Bible in 90 days, I was trying to figure out a way to continue using The Bible in everyday life.  That book should help.

My next step is going to be to start nightly prayers with them.  I know growing up I had a habit of saying prayers just before bed, and I want them to do that to.

Tell me how you {if you} started nightly prayers with your children.  When did you start doing it?

If you are just joining me, please be sure to check out my 31 days to being a better mama page for previous posts.