Five Minute Friday: Ache

Joining in with The Gypsy Mama for another Five Minute Friday. Where there is a prompt, and then you just write. For five minutes. That's all. Easy. Why don't you do it too? Visit her here, and also see what others are writing. It's a wonderful community.




This weeks prompt is: ache.

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I ache because there are so many things I want to write about here, but I can't.  i just don't feel comfortable with it.  

I am afraid to put myself out there and wonder what everyone else is thinking.  I know I've said it before, but it is so heavy on my mind that it pops up a like a tulip in the spring.  Suddenly, from no where.

But with my feeling there isn't the hope, the promise of spring.

I ache for the part of my brain and heart that want to be an inspiration like Kelle and Glennon and Ashley.  I have stories too.  And I want to share them, because I think they could help people.

Will people be open to hearing the stories?  Will they look at me in a different way {the people who I know in real life that read this}?  Will it affect my future in a negative way?

And then I ache for them.

No. Scratch that.  I ache for me.  Because I am not focusing on them enough, even though I keep talking about doing that.  I fail with it every day.  And I have an ache in my heart knowing that one day I am going to look back and be sad about this fog that kept me from experiencing every precious moment of their baby feet.

And I ache because I am selfish.  Because I haven't fully learned how to give it all up to Him.  To make Him the center point of my life.  {Thus, the reason for all of this self-reflection.}

I am a work in progress.  But I think most of us are.  And that, at least, gives me hope.

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And as true evidence that I only took five minutes to write this, that post sure was all over the place, wasn't it?