3.02.2012

Five Minute Friday: Ache

Joining in with The Gypsy Mama for another Five Minute Friday. Where there is a prompt, and then you just write. For five minutes. That's all. Easy. Why don't you do it too? Visit her here, and also see what others are writing. It's a wonderful community.




This weeks prompt is: ache.
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I ache because there are so many things I want to write about here, but I can't.  i just don't feel comfortable with it.  

I am afraid to put myself out there and wonder what everyone else is thinking.  I know I've said it before, but it is so heavy on my mind that it pops up a like a tulip in the spring.  Suddenly, from no where.
But with my feeling there isn't the hope, the promise of spring.

I ache for the part of my brain and heart that want to be an inspiration like Kelle and Glennon and Ashley.  I have stories too.  And I want to share them, because I think they could help people.

Will people be open to hearing the stories?  Will they look at me in a different way {the people who I know in real life that read this}?  Will it affect my future in a negative way?

And then I ache for them.

No. Scratch that.  I ache for me.  Because I am not focusing on them enough, even though I keep talking about doing that.  I fail with it every day.  And I have an ache in my heart knowing that one day I am going to look back and be sad about this fog that kept me from experiencing every precious moment of their baby feet.

And I ache because I am selfish.  Because I haven't fully learned how to give it all up to Him.  To make Him the center point of my life.  {Thus, the reason for all of this self-reflection.}

I am a work in progress.  But I think most of us are.  And that, at least, gives me hope.

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And as true evidence that I only took five minutes to write this, that post sure was all over the place, wasn't it?   

4 comments:

LeeBird said...

Lord,

Give this dear sister her voice to share the stories bursting to bloom from her heart.

Give her back her joy, and keep her ever hopeful that You'll make all things beautiful in Your time.

Mary B said...

I pray you feel free to be you...I once heard Lisa Jo say, "We don't need another Ann Voskamp." You know, Lisa Jo is right...we each need to use our own voice, tell our own story.

Blessings~
Mary

Kate Mckimmet said...

Your honesty and ache is so very real - I'm moved to prayer for you. Don't lose heart and keep writing - you made a difference to me today. And yes - we are all a work in progress doing the best we can in whatever season we're in. I'll pray for you to find your way through this fog, come through to share your story - it matters.

Denise J. Hughes said...

Yes, we are all a work in progress. I wonder every day: Which stories should I tell? What difference would it make?

Over and over again, I question.

Thank you for sharing your heart in this space. Your words are beautiful. And your stories matter.

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