2.09.2012

Being held back

I was almost held back in kindergarten.  True story.  Evidently, I couldn't match up capital letters with their small counterparts.

I wonder what my life would have been like if I HAD been held back?

Would I have still ended up in this same place?




I don't talk about my relationship with God much here.  But that doesn't mean that I don't have one.  And I have a firm and strong belief that He has a plan for every single one of us.  And that everything happens for a reason.

Every last thing.




So would I have ended up with J#1 if I had been held back in kindergarten?  We first met in high school, in a journalism class that I really shouldn't have been in.

My guess is that yes, we would have ended up together.  Especially with the fact that we have faced a few challenges {like his 25 year old wife having open heart surgery and too many moves to count, among other things} and are still together, looking towards the future.




So why does it feel like right now I am "being held back" again?  I have so many ideas in my brain.  Things I know I should be doing.  But I just sit, thinking about them.  Watching life pass me by.

Kicking myself for not doing this or that.  Or the other thing.

I feel like this must be part of "The Plan".    I just sort of wish it was laid out, neat and tidy.




But then I guess life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it?  That is why it is so important {broken record starting here} to live life in the moment.  The reason for the broken record? Likely because I need to keep reminding myself of that.

Every day.

And being held back?  I need to figure out why, and there is only One Being that can likely help me with that one.




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5 comments:

NJ @ A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs said...

I think that if you desire a closer relationship with God, He has probably put that desire there. Sometimes, the best things happen when we're out of our comfort zone.

Shell said...

I have to admit, I wish I could see it all laid out!

Laurie J said...

these words are awesome and challenging. just keep trusting Him, right?! it's the only way
<3

Shari@Rain into Rainbows said...

I love this!

As I've struggled with my disease and (hopefully) learning to walk again, I've had four separate occasions where for a few days/weeks, I was able to walk. Then BAM! Again, something would make it to where I was back in my wheelchair.

Now I'm facing another surgery this month that, if all goes well, could provide me with the ability to learn to walk, yet again.

But have I been trusting? No. I keep thinking of all the bad things that could happen, that HAVE happened.

Thank you for this reminder that even though I don't see the plan, He does.

rebecca said...

this reminds me of the book outliers. a very interesting read.

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