Day 23.

I made it again this week.  


Just barely.  But barely works, right?  
Weight check-in:
Starting weight (this week): 208.8
Goal weight for week (1%): 206.7
End weight:  206.6
Total weight loss (since start):  8.2 pounds 


This will be our last week of this session of the Game On competition.  But this journey won't be over with that.  I already have habits set and an idea of how to continue doing the Game On  competition against myself...just in case I am on my own {which it looks like I likely won't be}.  


And let me know if you are interested in joining us for the next round.  Not one person in our group yet has said this didn't work.  Each and every person has lost some weight or if they didn't have much to lose, they have muscles they haven't seen (or at least for awhile). 


But for me?  This is a long journey.  And I am taking it slow and steady, so it stays off for good.  But that can be frustrating. 

Source: eisymorgan.blogspot.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Oh! Guess what I got last week.  I upgraded my weights. 

I went from these... 

{yes, those are beans}

...to these.

Guess its time for some chili, huh? 


And one last thing...
On a blog I found last week, The Misadventures of Mrs. B, Jen {nice name, right?} wrote a letter to her fat.   Loved it.  I wrote one too.  Pretty much agree with everything she says, so I kept mine short and sweet: 

Dear Fat, 

It's not me. It's you. 

Call me...never. 

Signed, 

A woman who's tried to get you to stop stalking me ONE too many times.

Trust in the good things: Five Minute Friday

START

Today was one of those days I've spent the entire day pondering "trust".  How do I write about it?  What do I write in five minutes about the word trust?

I considered writing about the trust I share with friends {lucky}, the trust I have in my husband {even more lucky...and loved}, the trust in God {of course}.  So many people that I share trust with.

But I'm started out the day crabby.  You know how it is, right?  So the mood to write anything wasn't there.

Then...the afternoon and evening came.  My husband returned from his work trip.  I was no longer alone with the kiddos.  The mood started to lift.

And then this happened:

Click here for the video.

It happened a few other times today.  But by the time Daddy got home, her first move to get somewhere was to get up and walk.

Awesome.

And that is when I am reminded that it isn't just people that we need to trust.  We need to trust in the fact that there are always "good times".  There are always exciting, thrilling and memorable moments.

And those far exceed the bad ones.  Because those are the ones we will remember.

We might remember a time of sadness, depression, or despair.


But the moments that will overtake those? That will shine forever in our minds, our photos, our scrapbooks?    

Those will be the good times.  I trust in that.


STOP

Interested in writing for five minutes?  No editing, just writing.  Visit The Gypsy Mama by clicking on that button down there, and while you are at it take a sec to read about how others are trusting today.

Being held back

I was almost held back in kindergarten.  True story.  Evidently, I couldn't match up capital letters with their small counterparts.

I wonder what my life would have been like if I HAD been held back?

Would I have still ended up in this same place?

Source: ragstostitchesboutique.com via Jenny on Pinterest

I don't talk about my relationship with God much here.  But that doesn't mean that I don't have one.  And I have a firm and strong belief that He has a plan for every single one of us.  And that everything happens for a reason.

Every last thing.

Source: littlemissmomma.com via Jenny on Pinterest

So would I have ended up with J#1 if I had been held back in kindergarten?  We first met in high school, in a journalism class that I really shouldn't have been in.

My guess is that yes, we would have ended up together.  Especially with the fact that we have faced a few challenges {like his 25 year old wife having open heart surgery and too many moves to count, among other things} and are still together, looking towards the future.

Source: ragstostitchesboutique.com via Jenny on Pinterest

So why does it feel like right now I am "being held back" again?  I have so many ideas in my brain.  Things I know I should be doing.  But I just sit, thinking about them.  Watching life pass me by.

Kicking myself for not doing this or that.  Or the other thing.

I feel like this must be part of "The Plan".    I just sort of wish it was laid out, neat and tidy.

Source: southernpiphi.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

But then I guess life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it?  That is why it is so important {broken record starting here} to live life in the moment.  The reason for the broken record? Likely because I need to keep reminding myself of that.

Every day.

And being held back?  I need to figure out why, and there is only One Being that can likely help me with that one.

Source: eisymorgan.blogspot.com via Jenny on Pinterest

*  *  *

Challenge Wednesday #20: New Looks

Have I ever told you how much I like change?  Well, I sort of do.

First off, {and this has nothing to do with Challenge Wednesday} you might notice the blog looks a little different.  Not much to say about it, except that I was feeling something new was needed.  So I spent some of the day yesterday trying different things out, and landed with this.  Hopefully it won't take you too long to get used to!

On to the more important stuff.  Check out this sandwich...

Looks good, right?  It's a new look for my kitchen.  That's a lot of veggies.

Well, you'll have to visit Tracey's blog home over at Control the Chaos for more details.

Ha.  Happy Wednesday!  We're halfway to the weekend.

Whew.

And then she joined us.

A little over a year ago, we were a small family of three living in the Netherlands.

Content.  But not yet complete.

And then she joined us.  

Now we are a family of four, living in Scotland.  And we are complete AND content. 

*  *  * 

A little over a year ago, I had a son.  Full of spirit, energy and well...boyness. 

And then she joined us. 

And I developed a fondness for pink and hair bows.  

*  *  *  

A little over a year ago, on February 1, 2011,  I thought my life would change forever. 

And then she joined us.

And my life DID change forever.  She has touched my heart in a way no one has before.  I never thought I'd have a bond like the one I feel with her.  I want all the best for her in her life.  I want all of her hopes and dreams to come true.  

She fills our lives with smiles, belly laughs, giggles, finger points {that's one of her trademark greetings}, blown kisses and that special open mouth kiss {you know the one, right?} too.  She's loves to "dance" and wrestle with her brother.  

She is cruising and taking a few steps here and there.  Saying hi, mama, and dada.  Eating just about anything we set in front of her. 

Filling our hearts with more love every day. 

*  *  *

A little over a year ago we had only celebrated one FIRST birthday. 

And then she joined us. 

 And now we have celebrated two first birthdays.

* * * 

We extended her celebration, so it lasted about four days.  And it will last even longer with presents from the U.S. finding their way to Scotland.  And that is the way it should be, right?  Especially for a first {and golden} birthday.

And now I have another thing to add to my bucket list.  Learn how to make pink frosting.  Mine turned out orange.  Hmph.

*  *  *

Day 16.

Half way done with the "game".  So far, so good.  

Source: flickr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Let's get the business out of the way, shall we?

First thing to note is that I got a perfect score in our game this week.  Mostly because of...
Weight check-in:
Starting weight (this week): 211.2
Goal weight for week (1%): 209.1
End weight:  208.8
Total weight loss (since start):  6 pounds 


Yay!  Right? Again...the scale was my nasty friend.  It would go down, and then up and then {luckily} down again. Right now the batteries are low and I need to replace them, so that is probably a good thing since it will prevent me from jumping on that scale every day.  

Source: operationbeautiful.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Not my feet.  Or my scale.  But a good reminder, none-the-less. 


So, onto some fun.  


Or funny stuff.  


At this point my exercise requirement has been fulfilled by Jillian Michael's "Shred It" video.  I moved up to the 2nd level this past week and it provided a nice change and I actually enjoy the variety more than the first level. 



I would love to be outside running, but the temp has barely been getting above 40*F, and that is my limit for running outside.  I'm allergic to the cold.  Have I told you that before?  I'll share more about that at some point.  I know.  I'm an odd duck. 

Yesterday, though I thought I would try some yoga.  When we were back in Minnesota over the holidays I bought a yoga dvd set.  Come to think of it, I think I had a yoga video back in the day...it collected dust.  

This one?  Not the case. 


And I had helpers.    

 J#4 making sure to stay hydrated.  J#3 helping my yoga become "high impact". 

At this point I was rolling back onto J#4 and she was belly laughing.  Which made me laugh.  Which made for a good work-out all around.


Eventually the kiddos lost interest,  and I finished after about 35 minutes.  Yoga.  It's no joke people.  That is tough stuff.  I definitely enjoyed it and will keep doing it.  But I was back to Jillian today. 


She burns more calories.  

Real.

It is weighing heavily on my mind.  Obviously.  Otherwise I would be talking about other things.  Writing different posts.

It has weighed heavily on my mind for the last almost 12 years.  Ever since I graduated from college.  And realized that I was going to have to fit into a cute wedding dress that I had bought two sizes too small, "knowing" I could do the work to fit into the dress.

I didn't.  We sold that dress in a consignment shop.  And found a new one in a consignment shop too.  Luckily, it was one that "fit" my personality better.  And my body too, I guess.

What will I do once all of this weight is off?  I worry that is why I am constantly struggling.  I am afraid of the "real" me.  I have been consumed with trying to lose weight, be more healthy, essentially changing myself for the last TWELVE years.

Who is the real me?

I should be excited about finding out.  But, instead it makes me a bit nervous.

What if I don't like that woman who doesn't have to worry about her weight?

Scratch that...I am always going to have to worry about weight...but that woman who doesn't have to worry if there is a "plus size" section in that store.  That doesn't have to worry that the airplane seatbelt will fit her on that new airline she is traveling on.

I will find the real me.  {And through the plans of the Maker, I know it will be a good me.}

#  #  #

Photo {since I had to take a photo of a photo} and words in brackets added after the five minutes.

On my way to see what other bloggers have posted at The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday.  Where you write, with no editing, for five minutes.  Genius, right?